Are You Struggling To Maintain Fulfilling or Healthy Relationships?

 

Are you in a romantic relationship feeling alone and emotionally closed off from your partner? Maybe you’ve been together for years, but somewhere along the way, you lost a vital part of yourself. You may know something needs to change, but you aren’t exactly sure where to start.

Maybe you’re a meticulous planner who likes everything to be in order. When it comes to relationships, it’s difficult to plan or know what the “right” move should be. The people around you may think your life is wonderful, but they fail to see you’re struggling inside. You’re always taking care of everything and everyone else, and you just want someone to see you.

Do you concentrate on others’ needs more than your own? Maybe someone close to you struggles with mental illness or substance abuse. As your time and resources run thin, you may need someone to recognize you’re struggling, too.

Have you recently gone through a divorce or breakup and wonder where you went wrong? Maybe you’re afraid of making the same mistakes in the future. Or, you just want to learn about yourself and acquire additional skills so that you can foster a healthy, satisfying partnership down the road.  

Do you struggle with trauma, social anxiety or something else that may be holding you back from intimacy with others? As you go through life without a special connection—one in which you can express yourself honestly and let someone else in—you may feel increasingly alone.

Living with any kind of relationship discord is often a lonely, confusing and frustrating experience. The stress of disconnection can impact everything from your personal mental health to your performance at work to your interactions with others. If you find yourself in a loop of despair and unrest due to relationship problems, you likely want someone to really hear you and help you mend the discord. Then, maybe you could experience greater joy and fulfillment.

You Are Not Alone

 Life is about connection – with yourself and others. When you experience satisfaction and fulfillment in these relationships, you’re better equipped to experience joy in every aspect of your life. On the flip side, disconnection can cause a myriad of issues and can even lead to anxiety and depression.

Relationship tension is something we all experience. We seek out people who share our interests and values, but no two people are alike. Whenever two people with unique personalities, history and desires come together, there is bound to be disagreement.

More often than not, conflict or differences present us with opportunities to grow. Whenever we encounter viewpoints different than our own, we are invited to see the world from a new perspective, which opens us up for greater understanding and change.

But that isn’t always easy. From an early age, we learn how to relate to one another by our interactions with earliest caregivers and experiences in our environment. If you were modeled unhelpful behaviors, like lashing out or avoidance, then you may not have acquired the skills needed to cope with distress or foster lasting, healthy relationships. You may still be playing out certain relationship dynamics and are finding they are more hurtful than helpful now.

Or, like so many others, you may be afraid to say how you really feel. Culturally, we tend to overwork and bottle our emotions. Some numb and disappear with alcohol, drugs, television or internet use. You may be someone who takes care of everyone’s needs but your own. You might dedicate so much time and energy to other people’s emotions and actions that you forget this truth: you’re important and valuable too.

Whatever you’re wrestling with, you are not alone, and change is possible. If you’ve noticed a pattern of hurt in your relationships and fears about your worth, then together, we can carefully examine your experiences and practice tools to improve communication and connection from this point forward.

Relationship Counseling Can Help You Heal And Connect

 Individual or couples counseling can be hugely effective in helping you navigate all your relationships, including the one you have with yourself. Here, you can gain a clear understanding of who you are, what you want and how to maintain the close, open, connected bonds you both fear and crave. Once you understand the core elements of who you are, then we can figure out how to show up as that person—your true self—in relationships.

In a safe, compassionate, non-judgmental space, you can come to understand how you’ve been showing up in relationships and why certain dynamics have played out the way they have. And, our unique therapeutic dynamic can serve as a practice arena for the real-life conflicts you face.

Together, we’ll practice communication techniques that allow you to deepen connection, say what you really mean and grow as an individual, even when you’re under duress. We’ll also practice active listening and seeing things from different perspectives. At a pace that feels comfortable for you, you’ll come to recognize your underlying fears and discomforts, and you’ll gain skills to battle them.

For example, if something from your past is holding you back, such as an unstable relationship with a caregiver or a trauma, with compassion and care, we heal that pain at the root. Or, if you’re struggling in a current relationship—for example, you may be caring for someone who struggles with addiction or mental illness—we can explore boundaries that allow you to advocate for yourself.

Relationship counseling is not always an easy journey. Although you can expect to feel supported, accepted and treated with kindness, you can also expect to be challenged. With warmth and focus, we’ll work to alter patterns that are no longer serving you. I can’t promise to give you all the answers in relationship or marriage counseling, but if you put in the work to understand yourself, you can expect to leave our sessions feeling freed and eager to learn more.   

Therapy can help you to reclaim who you are. There is no need for you to continue to live a life in anger and powerlessness. With the right relationship advice, you can laugh again, overcome fears, deescalate anxiety and live an empowered life.


You may still have questions or concerns about relationship therapy…

Shouldn’t I be able to handle this on my own?

Up to this point, you have been handling it on your own. However, there comes a time when your coping strategies don’t alleviate stress anymore. By now, you’re likely exhausted trying to handle everything on your own. In therapy, you can learn tools that better equip you to heal distress at the root and get you where you want to be faster.

No one can do everything on their own. There are times when we all truly need additional support. Whatever you’re going through, you are not alone. There are ways to live outside this misery.

I doubt therapy will work.

If you’re struggling, you likely want to feel better as soon as possible. However, therapy doesn’t always work like that. Feeling better ebbs and flows, like life. Some days, you’ll walk away renewed and refreshed; others, you’ll walk away with more questions than answers. Both results are steps toward deep, lasting growth.

In the beginning of our work together, we’ll define expectations and discuss reachable goals. Every step of the way, you should feel as though you’re progressing toward a greater purpose.

I worry about what issues will emerge during therapy.

If you’ve found this page, chances are you’re harboring deep-seated pain you’ve felt unable to address. Part of the work we do in therapy is building resiliency, so you can tolerate and handle whatever life throws at you. Whatever you’re keeping in, it doesn’t need to continue to keep you stuck.

There may be something specific you’re been afraid to talk about. That’s exactly the kind of thing you want to address with a therapist—someone who is trained to deal with a variety of scenarios and able to provide unconditional support. And, we always move at a pace that feels comfortable for you. Although I can’t promise that therapy will be easy, addressing whatever has been keeping you stuck can be tremendously freeing. You can come out of this feeling more like yourself.  

Discover Your True Self

If you’re interested in learning more about relationship counseling, please call 720.551.5056 or email melissa@recovermecounseling.com for a free 30 minute consultation. My office is located in Denver, CO.